NOTHINGNESS

I havent updated my blog since quite some time now. I dint want to get back to blogging this way but here I am, doing what I do best- writing a meaningless random post which is, well, meaningless..
I had a given a job to a friend like to find me certain topics so i cud keep myself busy thinking about them all day long..and he did a pretty good job..came up wid loads of meaningful, thoughtful stuff...it did excite me for a while...like charging my batteries...but somhow it just died...and d topics, well, still intact in a msg in my phone..

I often experience such moments, where i fell absolutely nothing. And most often than not it happens after a terrible week, or in my case rite now, exams...though i knw i havent been reading like a crazy nerd or sum1...I have actually been watching a lot of movies...I used to treat myself wid a new movie every nite during my exam days..and it turned out tht I was thinking bout d guy or d story or how emotional i got or how i wish dat girl was me nd stuff during those 3 crucial hours...thnk god i dint screw any of d theory papers..but yeah now dat my exams are over( d theory atleast)...dere s NOTHINGNESS in d air all around me...
But its not just studies. A lot of other things. Things dat should cause a normal human to react in a drastic way, leave me unfazed now. And you maybe thinking 'its good rite?'.But the truth is it doesnt feel quite alrite. This is so not me!
Am i scared? No..am i worried? No..am i frustrated? No...confused? sad?angry?tired? no no no no..
peaceful? hell no!
I am emotionless, not disturbed, not feeling too great either..Almost feeling like a rock..you hit it hard, bang it sumwhere, push it off a cliff. Do anything with it..its least affected.
I feel like a rock..i am least affected.

Worrying about things isn't a good idea but not worrying at all isnt great either.Atleast dats not me. My friends tell me i'll die worrying about sumthing, trying to figure out my life, finding solutions, crying bout stuff, being emotional and blah blah..Maybe they r rite..maybe im like dat..but again its quite possible tht 'tension' haunted me soo much in the past tht it got tired of my reactions towards it...Maybe the fact tht ive been on an emotional roller coaster ride all dese years, has turned me soo impassive...

When things seem to get out of ur control they r better left to God. But if God does all the working??what will I do? Shoudnt I be doing sumthing??
But havent I done enough in my reach, to tackle dese issues already??

I am being torn apart in two worlds..I am calm, calm not in a good way, but calm nevertheless. Not hopeless not sad, not broken but not the other way round too..

So yaa..theres a lot of nothingness around!!And I dont know wat to do about it...Its all BLAH!!